Creative Uncorking

The scene is set: It’s been a long day, and the sun is setting as you walk home from work.  Your cat runs to the door to greet you. You’re tired, hungry, and (most importantly) thirsty. A great bottle of wine has been chilling for hours, just to make you smile. You walk to the fridge grinning as you anticipate the nectar of the gods swirling across your parched tongue.

But then, tragedy strikes! Your room mates–bastards that they are–have hidden all the wine keys.  Furious, you send them passive-aggressive text messages like, “Have you seen my yellow wine key” or “Ummmm like did you put the corkscrew away somewhere wierd last night?”  Natrually, after a long and stressful day of surfing the web working diligently you can’t wait for their response, and terror sets in as you wonder if you’ll ever be able to open that vintage.

Fear not friends, I’ve found some easy ways to solve this problem.  My favorites, the shoe method and screw method have proven to be the easiest and most versatile.

For example, don’t have a shoe? Wrap the bottle in a towel, and smash it against a wall/tree/desk/insert vertical surface here.  That cork will be out in minutes.

The Shoe Method Uncorked

Tricks: Use a sweeping motion with the shoe/bottle apparatus, and don’t be afraid to use some muscle!

Be careful: If the shoe you’re using isn’t thick-soled, or you employ the towel method use a gentler touch so you don’t smash the goods.

Great when: You’ve got limited supplies (think camping trips)

The Screw Method Uncorked

Be Careful: Don’t push the screw too far in–once the screw is in, it’s really hard to start this process over…luckily you can revert to the shoe method if this happens.

Great when: You’re trapped in a garage…or nail salon.

Variables: Try using pliers instead of a hammer. A sharpened bobby pin could replace the screw. Also, if you use a regular (as opposed to phillips head) screw, a hair comb can be used to twist the screw in instead of a screwdriver.

  • December 11, 2011
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