Wish List


Daydreams of sugar plums don’t really dance in my head.  Daydreams of Bordeaux and Ryan Gosling do. The ever-evolving list will be here.  (If you think I’m missing something, let me know!)

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Finally, a bag designed to disguise the bottle of wine I’m always carrying around. Stylish, chic, and hard enough to knock out any subway dweller who dares to try and steal a sip!

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These awesome glasses. Not only do they remove the need for annoying, often tacky wine charms, they’re awesome for messing with your friends. Imagine the fun you could have at a party writing things on glasses like “John has herpes” or “I backwash” or perhaps even “I’m a big drunk loser”–the possibilities are endless.

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This insane cork chair.  At my current rate of drinking, I’d be 85 before I could make one, but perhaps if I pair up with a local wine bar I could get the 100,000,000 corks necessary for this project. My main concern–can this chair float? If so, it just got cool enough to inspire the immediate formation of the Laura Uncorked/Wine bar partnership.

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Victoria’s Secret needs to invest in this technology right quick–it takes the Bombshell Bra to a whole new level. In essence, it’s a sports bra with Camelbak-esque cups. It’s fun, it’s practical, it’s sneaky, it’s PERFECT.  To me, this is an ideal tool for concerts, baseball games, and all other events where BYOB is frowned upon, and at $30 the wine rack is a total bargain–Sign me up!

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(photo courtesy of thewine-experience.com)

A South African Wine adventure. The latest craze in the Deep South (read: South Africa) is wine touring–in style, and miraculously on a budget.  I’ll take a cruise through the wine regions surrounding Cape Town in a luxury vintage Jaguar or Maybach any day, and since $1 is worth about $8 Rand, I might not have to wait too long.  One question: Do elephants like wine? (photo courtesy of thewine-experience.com)

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A pile of woozies for my next girls’ night.  Essentially, its a Koozie (like the ones your uncle slips over his BudLight cans) except cute and designed for wine glasses.  They’re adjustable, and double as wine charms–Need to put ice in your Chardonnay or risk contracting a disease from someone else’s glass.

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This cool, fish-shaped bottle opener. As if Maynard Keenan and the Arizona Stronghold wine story wasn’t cool alone, the fish shaped bottle opener took their documentary over the top.  This snazzy opener seems easy to use, and I think it doubles as an intimidating torture implement

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A stay at the Blantyre Inn.  This Lenox, MA retreat which dates back to 1901 is not only gorgeous, but boasts one of the best wine lists in the North East–Sommelier guided tastings in the Music Room (Oh la la) are a freebie for weekend guests…which go for upwards of $1400.  (Maybe I can pretend to be a guest?)

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Ryan Gosling.He’s hot. He’s got a great apartment in NYC. He owns an awesome Moroccan restaurant in Beverly Hills. He’s employed. And he dates women.

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De Long’s Wine Grape Varietal Table. This way, I can not only look like a serious connoisseur when snobs come hang out at the Bachelor Pad (maybe someday they will?), but I’ll naturally absorb more knowledge about wine color and the spectrum (Like the kid who always had a world map on the wall, and then won the Geography Bee).

  • August 26, 2012
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